28 May 2008

Drive to move forward.

So much has happen for the past weeks. I don’t even know where to starts. I guess it only takes a few shocking things to jolt back our memory, to renew our conscience and starts living afresh.

By starters, I as usual keep fallen into the pitfall I’ve been trying to stay out from for months. Even with all the regular dose of ‘drugs’, it wasn’t helping that much. All I do is falling and trying to pick myself up again and again. Maybe I was relying on ‘me’ too much, but I’m positive I’m making a breakthrough of myself. The degree of falling is decreasing and the ‘depth’ is less deep. And for those who wondering, I’m talking about chucking out my bad habit one by one: PERMANENTLY insyaAllah.

Last Wednesday, one of my batch mates died. As a matter of fact, he kills himself. Commit suicide. Well, that’s what we been told so far. I’m not quite sure whether the homicide investigation is still on or not, but I’m pretty sure that what’s left of him already been brought back to his home. I don’t know him that close, but from what I know of him, he’s the least expected man on earth that I will think of committing suicide. May he get his peace at least before he died. What happen to him like screaming loud and clear to my face: no one can live alone, without the loves of another human being and obviously not without a clear and strong hold of belief (the love of God).

In the mean time, sadly to say, life does go on, with or without you. I get to know that one of my cousins is married ( I called just right after the akad nikah and I don’t know about it before hand!!) , and what’s shocking is that his wife is going to live in their house (meaning she get to stole all of my Mak Lang’s and Pak Lang’s attention!! Well, if she can of course). Not that I’m lack of parent’s love or something, its just that these two are my favorites uncle and aunt, and I love lazing about in their house.( maybe I’m just jealous here).

And after all this, my brain sort of went on auto pilot mode. I know what I have to do, its just I never got around to do it; well I think I got to do half of it. It’s in my nature actually to thrive on the adrenaline-rush-kind-of-situation, but I think life is not just for fun, there is more to that. I guess there really is no short cut to any place worth going. Somehow, you have to pull yourself together (again and again tirelessly), get a grip, and make the best of your life in and out of it (if you know what I mean). After all, if you want to discover new ocean, you must first have the courage to leave the shore. Changes are essential. To get habluminallah, you also need habluminannas, and for that, you need to respect yourself first. Love yourself and accept yourself just the way it is. As for me, everyone have their own significant in life. If you ever make mistake or found some difficulty along the way, please remember, you are never alone (if you cannot confide in others, confide in Him); and note that life is a grindstone. Whether it grinds us down or it polishes us up. Really, it depends on us. Make the right choice. Don’t wait till you didn’t have any choices left later on.


22 May 2008

fill in the blanks.

"fikiran anda tidak akan tumpul, lidah anda tidak akan senyap, badan anda akan sentiasa bergerak, tidak pernah diam. Jika anda menyibukkannya dengan perkara2 besar, maka ia akan disibukkan dengan perkara2 kecil. Jika anda tidak menggunakannya kepada kebaikan, maka ia akan digunakan ke arah kejahatan. Sesetengah jiwa cenderung kepada perkara2 yang mudah dan lazat, tidak suka kepada kesulitan dan kesukaran. Oleh itu, anda hendaklah mengangkat diri anda semampu yang mungkin kepada perkara bermanfaat yang sukar itu. Latih dan biasakanlah ia dengan perkara yang tidak disukai, lebih baik sehingga anda biasa dengan perkara2 besar dan sentiasa berusaha ke arah ketinggian. Juga sehingga anda lari daripada setiap perkara rendah dan merasa jijik terhadap setiap perkara remeh. Ajarkanlah diri anda untuk terbang tinggi sehingga bencikan kerendahan. Kenalkanlah ia dengan kemuliaan, sehingga ia lari dari kehinaan. Rasakanlah ia dengan kelazatan rohani yang agung, sehingga ia memandang rendah kepada kelazatan anggota badan yang hina."

how much ur life worth? u name the price.

Life is always full of ups and down. Sometimes you’re in and sometimes you’re out. At which point do you really value your life meaningful? Being successful? Getting married? Have some awesome jobs? Getting rich and famous? Renown psychologist all over the world tells us that the recipe to a great life is living your life the best you could as positive as you can be, and honesty is always the best policy. That’s what they say. How do you view your life? What does it really means to you? Here is some list that I think of what my life it’s made about. Feel free to read and think it through; don’t forget to add your own!

Life is about making choices:

Every day is a constant tug-of-war. You always get pull between countless need and desire, inside out your heart and all around you. Every single thing in your life seems to require special attention. ‘Does my hair look nice today? I need to study extra 3 hours today to make up for my loss yesterday, otherwise I won’t get 5 for colloq next time. I wonder what I should cook for dinner today.’ That kind of attention, but tell me, does life really that shallow? If you’re in over your head, that’s it. No more sweet life for you. Welcome to hell. Then, what should I do?

[asy-syams,91: 8-10] – maka Dia mengilhamkan kepadanya jalan kejahatan dan ketakwaan, sungguh beruntung org yang menyucikan jiwanya itu, dan sungguh rugi org yg mengotorkannya.

Your life is in your hand. You are the one who can make it prospers with the real goal enlisted by God (khalifah and ibadah) or meaningless life. Its all depend to what your heart believes and truly desire and of course to ‘where you want to go’. As what Alice ask to The Cat in The Wonderland: “would you please tell me which way I ought to walk from here?” “That depends a good deal to where you want to get to,” said the Cat. “I don’t care where-.”said Alice. “Then it doesn’t matter which way to walk”, said the Cat.

Life is a gift versus responsibility from God:

Actually it’s a little bit of both. Human being and all other living things in the world didn’t just show up just like that, there is a Creator for all of it. The way you view your purpose of life stems from what you believe in. Our heart is the place that needed to be purified, cleanse and renew so that it doesn’t clogged with plenty dark spots of mungkar we made each day. Be scared of the ferocious fire waiting for us in hell. Allah is the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful, and the Most Forgiving but don’t forget azab Allah itu juga amat keras sifatnya.

Life is a journey of learning, loving, appreciating and giving:

Life is not a thing to be taken for granted. And certainly not all the things that makes it up. Our family, our almost equally felt everyday experiences of sadness and happiness, our money, time and energy spent for something we craved or need upon, the joy of seeing things, smells it and touch it, etc. The list can go on for as long as you live. The endless number of nikmat that Allah gives us makes me realize how fragile our life is. We are nothing if compared to Him. Who are we to defied The Almighty? He creates everything that is here on earth (or outside of it) for us to use and He gives us akal to think, and nafs to enjoy and fight for. Despite all the glories that were give to us human being, look how we behaved to pay for it? Endless meaningless war solely to fulfill certain people’s agenda, food crisis everywhere you turn your head to, incest and homosexual which suddenly become the ‘new hottest trend’, and fighting over small superficial thing such as money, job and woman.

The truth is, if we really do understand that all men are equal (what differs them are only the iman and taqwa) and Allah is the source of everything and only to Him we need to serve and praise; there is no stopping us from achieving what we want from life, there’s no one to be scared of except Him and there should be no evil doing all around the world. All we need to do is just try our best in whatever we do and try living life the best way teaches by God through His Prophet and the Holy Quran (the best manual of life left for us, don’t you agree?). It sound almost hard to achieve but nothing is impossible once we set our mind to do it, works hard for it, and ask Allah to grant it (doa and tawakal).

After all, I do believe that optimism and bersangka baik helps me to get through the pitfall of life (plus His guidance too). I learn my way through what life has to offers. If only you open your heart and look for the real truth. Never afraid to fall down or stumble in life, as long as you can pick yourself right up. Just remember: a turtle may live for hundreds of years because it is well protected by its shell, but it can only moves forward when it stick its head out.

Good luck in finding your way in life! Live it up so that you have no regrets later on.

(in padang mahsyar and hari akhirat)

12 May 2008


Saya sangat suka akan Milo. Teramat suka sehinggakan sebelum balik ke sini pun saya dah buka dan minum 3-4 peket Milo Cereal Fuze 3in1 tu, yang akhirnya menyebabkan saya kehabisan bekalan minuman yang paling saya suka tu dalam masa tak sampai sebulan saya di Moscow. (tiba-tiba rasa cam tak amanah kepada diri sendiri plak.. aiiii… T_T).

Di suatu pagi Ahad yang hening, disebabkan tak ada apa nak buat, maka saya pun mengajilah. Sambil2 mengaji tu, tiba2 perut saya berbunyi… (dah lapar walaupun dh breakfast dan jam baru menunjukkan pukul 11>am). Dalam hati, saya terfikir, alangkah seronoknya kalau dapat minum Milo panas… (semakin fikir, semakin kempunan – sebab bekalan Milo saya memang dah lama habis dan saya sejak kebelakangan ni mmg teringin betul nak minum..), saya ada terfikir nak ‘pau’ housemate saya sket. Disebabkan pemikiran saya pun dah jauh ‘terpesong’, saya pun berhentilah mengaji. Tiba2…. Roommate saya datang kepada saya, dan dia berikan saya sebungkus kecil Milo! Cuba bayangkan apa perasaan saya masa tu? Mendapat sesuatu yang diidam2kan, apatah lagi baru aje terfikir sekejap tadi. Dapat dari roommate saya pula tuh.. dia cakap dia bawa Milo tu dari Ghana, “it’s a hot stuff there, try it”. Saya memang terkejut habislah bila dia bagi saya Milo tuh, sampai terkluar ayat, why? Me? Are you sure? Hehe ^_^. (sejarah hubungan kami memang tak berapa manis didengar.. mungkin akhirnya Allah dah buka pintu hati dia, Milo tuh besar tandanya kepada perhubungan kami.. its only one step higher but as long as it shows promise and positivity, I’m more than ok with it.. )

Akhirnya dptlah sy minum Milo panas pagi itu, dan untuk hari2 yang berikutnya.. =). Betullah ayat Allah [surah Saba’ 34:39] – Katakanlah: “Sungguh, Tuhanku melapangkan rezeki dan membatasinya bagi siapa yang Dia kehendaki di antara hamba2Nya”. Dan apa saja yang kamu infakkan, Allah akan menggantinya dan Dialah pemberi rezeki yang terbaik.

Segala yang berlaku pada saya bukanlah satu kebetulan semata-mata. Setiap peristiwa ada sebab dan hikmah di sebaliknya. Selagi sifat orang mukmin dipenuhi, insyaAllah hidup kita pasti akan gembira: tenang walaupun dalam ribut, terang walaupun kelam, dan bahagia walau dirundung duka. Dan sesungguhnya, sifat orang mukmin itu adalah: apabila ditimpa musibah, dia bersabar; dan apabila mendapat keuntungan, dia bersyukur.

06 May 2008

teman jiwa

"group of feathers flock together". macam tu lah juga manusia. semua orang ada 'click'nya sendiri. macam2 label wujud dlm dunia ni-budak skema lah, team basketball lah, group scholar lah, teman makan2 lah, etc. the list is endless. baru2 ni ada org tanya kat saya, macam mn nak wat kalau ada seorang kawan yang sgt suka dtg kat kita apbl dia ada masalah shj.in another word, the selfish type. the kind that u must help me cos i'm ur friend- but i'm busy so i cant help you back-friend. saya rasa dlm dunia ni, mesti semua org akan jumpa org yg perangai dia mcm ni, he/she gain something by the loss we have.

apa reaction anda dengan org mcm ni?

pada saya, tak perlulah kita buang masa geram, marah or makan hati dgn org yg begini. mengapa perlu kita rendahkan martabat kita supaya berperangai sama macam mereka? betul x? adalah lebih baik kalau kita memaafkan, berlapang dada, dan mendoakan supaya dia berubah. memang sukar nak buat begini, tapi saya rasa, ia perlu dicuba. kalau dh mmg tak thn sgt, tell them the truth: stop treating me like i'm your scapegoat or slave! (whatever noun that you think its appropriate with ur condition ^_^). mungkin sebenarnya kwn kita tu x perasan ker dia wat camtuh kat kita, dan memandangkan kita pun tak cakap apa2, so dia pun ingat oklah. majoriti antara kita memang tak reti nak baca fikiran orang lain, so cara paling baik adalah berkomunikasi. say what you mean and mean what you say. as simple as that.

lagipun, semua orang perlu sedar dan ingat, yang sebenarnya, semua orang di dunia ini ada syaitan yang sentiasa bersama2 dengannya. even Rasulullah pun ada. tak caya?
Abdullah bin mas'ud meriwayatkan bahawa Rasulullah saw bersabda yang bermaksud:

"setiap kamu diwakilkan dengan qarin (teman) dari kalangan jin. mereka bertanya: Adakah engkau juga begitu Ya Rasulullah? baginda menjwab: Ya, aku pun begitu tetapi Allah s.w.t telah menolongku lalu ia telah masuk Islam dan hanya menyuruhku kepada kebaikan".

hidup manusia ini tidak pernah sunyi dari dugaan dan cabaran. di sinilah perlunya kita kepada sahabat2 yang baik, yang boleh mengingatkan kita apabila kita lupa, yang boleh memandu kita ke jalan yang baik, yang lebih mendekatkan kita kepada-Nya.

saya suka satu pepatah ni:(definisi sahabat pada orang Arab badwi).

" jika dekat mahu memberi. jika berpisah memuji. jika disakiti memberi maaf. jika ditekan ia berlapang dada."

oleh itu, pilihlah sahabat yang baik. Dialah yang akan membantu kita sama-sama memuliakan diri. andai kata dalam perjalanan hidup ini, anda tersalah memilih kawan, jangan sedih dan bermurung. ada hikmahnya di sebalik peristiwa yang berlaku. you just have to look for the best in it. besides: there's no cases of eyestrain have been develop by looking on the bright side of things. ^_@