THe WAR WITHIN

I slept late last night, staying up reading pediatric, quran, and some old newspapers I got from UK – I purposely make my brain so damn tired just so that I can test the limit on how far I can survive a working day without a sufficient nice good rest. Just wanna ‘taste the glimpse’ of my upcoming life as a truly God’s servant, HO, wife, and mother insyaAllah. (if He bless me with a long life and my own family to look after).

I ended up waking up late, just nearly in time before subuh finish (thank God!). My head hurt so much, feels like my head is splitting into 2 parts (okay, maybe I’m exaggerating a bit ^-^ but the pain is severe enough for me to consider not going to my pediatric class in which I took a lot of time and effort to study to (what a waste). And so, I lie back on my nice comfy bed, snuggling myself inside the warm blanket I loved so much, shutting off my eyes hoping that the pain will soon go away.. I don’t know why, my heart keeps telling me: ‘you need to get your lazy bum and starts your day right away.. with the right way.. fight the pain and obviously fight the evil feeling’. Unable to forget what I’ve learn in usrah last time, about jeddiah (working fully heartedly) in whatever you do and how frequent we go back and forth between good and evil forces every single minute of our life (it’s the war deep within), I finally succumb to what my ‘heart’ tells me.

Well this is how every evil deed in this world happen.. if you don’t REALLY thinking it through and just do whatever you want to do, it will be soon enough before you turning into something that you can’t possibly think of or escape of. Everything in this world starts from such a small fling. All the good and the bad ones.

>>> just a quote to think of:

It’s ok to look bad in front of everyone else as long as you look good in front of Him; but it will be better if you look good BOTH in front of Him and everybody else. Don’t you think so???