defeated

selling stories that are overrated
in this world so complicated
felt so right, you tried to make it wrong
why can't we all just get along

from the start something wasn't right
i used to cry myself to sleep at night
told myself stand up, be strong
this kind of phase doesn't last for long

and every time you try to knock me down
gonna pick my back off the grounds
the battle never ends

you can tear me apart,
you can rip me to pieces
try breaking me down but i'll never be beaten
you can say that you won but i'll never believe it
cause i can't be defeated





made a mistake
swore i'll never repeat it
lost my heart for a second but it never stopped beating
i smile through the tears
so the way that i see it
i can't be defeated

there are times that i couldn't take it
never feel so violated
at the risk of sounding so cliche
i just gotta call a spade a spade

hurts me right to the core
i can't take this any more
getting tired of the same old song
final chorus now i'm moving on

things ain't fair in love and war
never been the kind to be ignored
tried to push me to the edge

nothing is impossible
nothing is unreachable
if you only believe
you get what you need
so keep on holding on


ps:

i'm so sorry for the short listed number of entries in year 2010
looks like i'm beaten for a while
just gonna keeps on fighting
and tried to make the best out of it
a big thanks to all of whom help me make it through
and helping me to remember what is it that's important in life
I NEED YOU MORE THAN EVER
......


insyaAllah, in two weeks time I'll be changing department from medical to O&G (my fifth posting). wish me lucks!

perfect distraction

- just some scribble down life notes -


I find it very upsetting that work currently has become MY BIGGEST PERFECT SCORE TEN DISTRACTION. such a trivial thing that ends up eating my passion for 'true' life. Struggling and contentment is there but i can hardly say it's an achievement.


I've finally reached the time where i can safely said i'm comfortable enough in medical posting, and yet here comes another hurdle: my fighting or should i call it my REBEL spirit is fiercely awaken.. and IT clouded me againts my better judgement. Who am i to fight my own ward specialist who is also the specialist in charge of HO: whose action can pretty much be summarize into two words: mostly intolerable and egoistical. She reminds me so much of my own previous two bosses from ortho although i thinks she's the lesser of the two evils (hehe.. pardon me for my language here).


One of my fellow junior from M2 is here in Taiping and from time to time we met and have lunch with each other. I'm proud with her for staying and keep on fighting. For those who's in their own battle out there (whether in your studies, baby on the way ^_^, works, etc..) hang in there.. you'll gonna make it fine insyaAllah. JUST DON"T GO THERE ALONE... if you get what i mean.





ps: I'm currently renting outside. The first time ever i went to GIANT to buy the groceries for my first self cooked dinner in months after starting works.. the experience reminds me so much of Ashan and Moscow. Hehe. Except the part that i can buy almost everything possible in Giant.
NAnti jemputlah datang rumah ye adik-adik. My door is always open <3

battle of will

Today, i got scolded for nothing, from one of the MO here in medical.
For the first time ever in medical, finally i feel stressed. Haha. So ironic.
But thanks to him, i feel reenergize to fight back.
(because in medical you got tired up by the never ending job and by the infinite number of cases you get per day per ward)




Its always come back to one thing.
The battle of will.
No one ask us to be the winner all the time.
BUT NEVER EVER be a QUITTER!

>>>> a very big welcome to my junior who get posted here in Taiping.
your life here will be harsh, but dont worry,
i know you can survive this.
WE can survive this together.

my advice for those who think they're having a tough time right now:
SPEAK TO HIM.
ASK FROM HIM
and PUT ALL YOUR PROBLEMS IN A POCKET WITH A HOLE IN IT.

=)

ps: AKM, YONG - busy blaja yek? senang2 nnt mesej saya yea.